things about moving around
I was listening to lana del rey in the bus today and thinking desperately about how i would love love love to be driving and singing along to it.
And I thought, I will be. In about 2 months.
And then i kept thinking, but I will only be home doing these things for one month, tops. Why?
Because, again, I will pack up my life (3rd time in 1 year and 2 months) and move to another country (second time ever) for an undetermined period of time. The program lasts til next june but i can and may stay longer, at least another year if it goes well.
And if I don’t stay…. staying home (in the USA) seems so attractive right now but I don’t know if I will have the guts to actually stay at home for a long period of time and get a “real” job again.
I miss my life in the US but it’s something that felt stifling when i was actually there. I am really looking forward to things being “easy” again (Aka all in my native language) and knowing where things are and how to get places.
But a large part of my “struggle” in Chile has not been the language, it was learning how to navigate a city and go through life in a new place. Language was of course a large part of it but in the end, it was finding that Indian place I like, where I get my groceries and my favorite bars and yarn stores.
And it has taught me something essential… I’m not really a city person. I live in a suburban area in CT and I think I would love to live in Hartford or something similar but Santiago with it’s 46% of Chile all in one place is way too much for me on a regular basis. I went to visit a friend in her city of about 200,000 people and I feel so much better there, less overwhelmed and frustrated.
In Spain, I will probably not (likely) be placed in a city or at least directly in one. I’m looking forward to the change but it does make my 9 weeks left here difficult to think about. I’m going to Argentina in two weeks but then after that it’s going to be hard to continue to be focused. It’s like having senioritis, a friend said.
I would give anything to be in a target store though for sure. Soon!